


Bromeo and Dudeliet

by WickerPrince



Series: Bromeo and Dudeliet [1]
Category: Original Work, Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare
Genre: AU, College, Death, Gay, HOORAY, M/M, Other, frat houses, gender swapping on a few parts, shakespeare is great, yay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-17 02:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9299384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WickerPrince/pseuds/WickerPrince
Summary: Ralph (Romeo) has just started attening Verbrona State University. James (Juliet) is also attending said university. They're apart of different frat houses, but that won't stop Ralph from getting that hot piece of ass...will it?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that I have no idea how fraternities work and I know very little about college. GAY.

 

 

Bromeo and Dudeliet

 

 

Two frat houses, broth alike in dignity. In fair Verbrona, where we lay our scene. From manicent grudge break to new dudeinty. Where civil blood makes civil mands unclean.

 

The day was bright but Ralph's eyes were not, for he had just been accepted into the straightest fraterinity there had ever been at Verbrona State University. Ralph's best friends, Sam, Greg and Ben, had been helping him unpack his pick up truck, bringing his bags and miscelanious items into the frat house.

 

"My old man forced me here, y'know." Ralph complained.

 

"Yeah, I know. You told me all about it on the drive up here. And when we were packing your truck. And again when we stopped at that gas station." Sam chucked, tossing a box to Greg.

 

"Whatever..." Ralph muttered, grabbing the last few boxes and closing the bed of the truck.

 

As the boys made their way upstairs, Ralph noticed an identical frat house across the street through the small window on wall near the stairwell.

 

"Who lives over there?" he asked, looking to Greg.

 

"Oh, that's Capulet house. We don't talk to them. Rivals and what not." Greg explained. He had been part of this frat throughout his college experience. This year would be his last.

 

"Oh...okay." Ralph nodded, trailing behind the three other boys. He couldn't help but notice a rather attractive looking brown haired boy on the lawn of the other house.

 

/////

 

James, on the other hand, was very excited to be apart of this particular frat. His brothers had been part of it and now he was going to be the best damned Capulet member there ever was. One of his friends had offered to help James with his things but it was necessary. James only had one bag.

 

Feeling like someone was watching him, he turned to the frat house across the street. He could have sworn there was someone watching him from the stairs. Probably just his imagination.  

 

"Oi! James, get your ass over here. You gotta choose your bed before Abe gets to it!" Tyler shouted at James from the doorway. 

 

James jumped and ran forward, skidding to a stop before he (SCREAMED DADDY FIX MEH) walked into the house. "What fraternity is over there?" he asked, pointing at the house across from them.

 

Tyler rolled his eyes. "Montague." he said sourly before walking upstairs.  


	2. The Second Chapter

It wasn't like Ralph was _trying_ to be a five year old. That's just how things played out. Everything was terrible and he hadn't even been at the stupid frat for more than two weels.

 

The other boys would stay up at all hours of the night, blasting music, ordering a dozen pizzas by the hour and playing Halo. Sometimes they would play Mario Kart, but that was only sometimes. When they weren't screaming at the top of their lungs, they were rummaging around the kitchen, cooking what smelled like burning shit. Not to mention the state of living. The house was a mess. Skin mags with busty women on the cover and random pieces of paper as well as condom wrappers. Those guys got more ass in two days than Ralph had gotten his entire Junior year of high school.

 

While this was going on, Ralph was trying to study, or sleep. Maybe both. He couldn't get a single damned thing done in this house. His room, unlike the rest of the house, was neat and tidy. His bed was made and his window was always halfway open, to air out the smell of Axe that wafted throughout the house. 

 

Ralph was so much more different than the others. While all they wanted to was talk about vaginas and boobs, Ralph wanted to talk about dicks and chiseled muscles (he would never openly express this of course). It was very rare that he said one word to the boys that wasn't "fuck off" or "asshole" as he passed them in the hallway.

 

"Ralph! Ralphy!" Sam shouted as he barged into Ralph's room - another thing that happened _way_ to often.  

 

"What do you want?" Ralph grumbled, pulling his pillow over his head. "What could you possibly need from me?"

 

"Get up! Get up, get up! Hup-two-three, bucko!" Sam shouted again, yanking the pillow out of Ralph's hands.

 

Ralph whined loudly, pulling the covers over his head. "Go away. I don't care what you're doing, I'm not doing it with you."

 

The covers were ripped off the bed next, leaving Ralph laying in bed, on his stomach, in just his boxers, not exactly a smart idea on his part.

 

"We're going outside. C'mon. We're going to the mall, grab some food. I'll buy you coffee." Sam offered.

 

Ralph looked over at him, raising a brow. "And?"

 

"And I'll buy you clothes. Makeup. Shoes. Whatever you want, man." Sam sighed. He, Greg and Ben were the only ones that knew he was gay. They also knew how grumpy he could get when doing something he didn't want to do, especially with people he didn't like. So they made sure to buy him something he wanted each time it happened, which wasn't a lot considering they were the only people that actually talked to him.

 

Ralph smiled, sitting up. "Get out. I need my privacy." he said, standing up.

 

"You're so gay." Sam smirked, turning to leave the room.

 

"You know it, honey!" Ralph called as he slammed the door.

 

/////

 

Not five minutes later, Ralph was rushing downstairs, shoving his phone and wallet into his pocket. When Greg looked up at him, he grinned.

 

"Morning, sunshine!"  He said, raising his arms to tackle Ralph into a hug. "How's my favourite heterosexual?"

 

"Fuck off, Gregory." Ralph huffed, rolling his eyes, but he was smiling a little. 

 

"Alright boys, let's go!" one of the older boys exclaimed. Ralph had seen him around. He was one of the quieter ones, tall and lean. Just the right amount of thin and the perfect amount of proportionate. Ralph wasn't sure if he was gay or not, but he acted like it. He was always smiling and so very flamboyant. Ralph was sure that he had heard him singing show tunes in the shower on his first day. 

 

"Piss off, Ryan. No one likes you." one of the other boys shouted from the couch, no doubt having been woken up by the ruckus. 

 

"We ride!" Ryan yelled, opening the door, throwing his hand in the air and galloping out of the house. Sam, Greg and Ben followed him, laughing. 

 

"I'll ride you." Ralph muttered under his breath, following the group and slamming the door behind him. 

 

/////

 

James was woken up in the early morning by a loud exclamation of "we ride!" coming from the house across the street. No doubt the Montague boys back at their shenanigans. He grumbled softly to himself as he sat up, brown hair messy and wild, just like always.

 

"Oi! James, you up?" Tyler asked from the other side of the door. Unlike the Montagues, the Capulet boys knew how to respect privacy and kept quiet when someone told them to. Still, James admired the balls on some of the Montague boys. And I don't mean that in a gay way.

 

"Yeah, I'm up..." said James, pulling on a pair of jeans he was pretty sure were clean. "You can come in if you want."

 

Tyler pushed the door open, grinning. "We're goin' to the mall, c'mon. Get a shirt on and let's get that hot ass out on the town."

 

James chuckled, searching around for a clean shirt. When he couldn't find one, he shrugged and pulled on an old sleeping t-shirt. It was splattered with paint - or what James hoped was paint - but it didn't stink so it was fine. "Why the mall?"

 

"Girls." Tyler replied. "Or, in your case, guys." he winked and left the room, rushing down to the car.

 

James chuckled and pulled on his old worn out Chucks, running out to the car and jumping in just as it pulled onto the street.    

 

/////

 

Ralph tried not to pay attention to the boys in the car as they drove to the mall. He didn't pay attention, in fact. He didn't pay attention to the way Ryan's tongue rested between his teeth, poking out only slightly, as he drove. He didn't notice how when they turned a corner, Ryan's muscles tensed up in attempt to keep still. And it worked, mostly. and Ralph definitely did _not_ notice when Ryan looked at him, smirked (which turned into a smile afterwards) and winked. It was in such a way that no one else could've seen it, but Ralph saw it. God, did he see it. 

 

Still, Ralph tried to tell himself it was just his imagination. That he was winking to some girl he had seen on the street and he wasn't really into Ralph. And it's not like Ralph was into Ryan in any emotional way. He just wanted to jump his bone, y'know? Get in his pants, have a great night, and then never speak of it again. Like it never even happened. Like it didn't mean anything. Which it wouldn't, because Ralph wasn't romantically attracted to him. He had never really had an emotional attachment. Not since his last boyfriend died. Tragic car accident. Somehow, his parents had survived. Not Payton though. 

 

"Hey, Ralph. Get out. We're here." Ben smacked Ralph's arm. Everyone was out of the truck and his door was open. 

 

Ralph blushed and got out, slamming the door harshly. "Sorry. I guess I zoned out." he said, shrugging. 

 

"You need coffee. Let's get him some." Sam grinned, grabbing Ralph's hand and leading him into the mall.

 

Once they reached one of the many Starbucks that were scattered throughout the mall, Sam sang out his order of three black coffees and one white chocolate mocha latte. Could he have ordered anything gayer of Ralph. Probably not. 

 

"Drink up, buddy." Sam said, nudging Ralph lightly as they wandered about the mall, Greg and Ben clearly on the look out for some girls they could woo into giving over their number. Ryan was oddly close to Ralph, but, again, he figured it was just because there were a lot of people in this certain area. Obviously, because of the Starbucks _and_ the McDonald's. Plus the various commercial clothing stores like Macy's and Forever 21. 

 

While sipping his coffee, Ralph wasn't looking where he was going and ran straight (as straight as he could) into some guy. Said guy was just about the most beautiful thing he had ever seen - and he'd seen Ryan. They went tumbling, the coffee flying out of Ralph's hand and landing on Sam. Meanwhile, Ralph himself landed on the guy. He noticed the hair and recognised him immediately. The Capulet kid he had seen the first day. 

 

The boy smiled up at him with a light chuckle. "Hey there..." 

 

"Hey..." Ralph replied, dumbfounded. 

 

 


	3. This Chapter Is Gay

James stared straight up at the boy who had mistakenly threw his coffee on his friend and tackled him down. What? Wait, no, that's not what happened. No, the boy tripped. It was all an accident. His friends didn't see it that way, because as soon as they had stopped rolling, the blonde was pulled off of James and pushed behind one of his friends. 

 

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" one shouted. His eyes blazed with anger. A signature Montague. They were always angry, always loud and always violent.

 

James was then pulled off the ground, being pushed behind Tyler, who puffed his chest. "What do you think _you're_ doing? Your boy just tried to wail on mine, Montague." 

 

"You're wrong, _Capulet_ , your boy pushed mine!" the same boy shouted, a low growl emitting from his throat. 

 

It was odd. These boys used those names as if they were insults rather than frat names. "Tyler, wa-" James was pushed back before he could finish his sentence, Tyler stepping forward. 

 

"You're an idiot, George!" Tyler shouted. 

 

"My name is Greg!" George - no - Greg shouted. 

 

While the shouting continued, James caught a glimpse of the boy who had fallen on top of him and smiled. The boy smiled back, his brownish-black coloured eyes lighting up slightly. James waved and the boy waved back. 

 

"Let's go." a slightly shorter boy said, grabbing Greg's arm and pulling him away. The group of Montagues started walking away, leaving their friend behind. The same went for the Capulets. Welll...sort of. James said that he would catch up to them.

 

He stepped forward, holding out his hand. "I'm James." he grinned.

 

The other boy smiled, shaking James' hand. "Ralph."

 

"Like Ralph Macchio?" James asked, chuckling softly.

 

The boy, now determined as Ralph, let out a dry laugh. "Nah, he's much too cool to be me. Or...for me to be him. Whatever." he stopped. "Sorry. I ramble."

 

James only shook his head, chuckling AGAIN. "No, it's okay, I don't mind much." he said.

 

"Right...well, I ought TO GET to my group." Ralph replied.

 

"We'd better put on a show." James said, nodding towards the group of Montagues hovering like vultures over a carcass.

 

Ralph smirked slightly and began shouting. "Why would you try to trip me! Fuck you, man!"

 

"Fuck you indeed!" James shouted back before pausing. "But...not in a gay way, right?"

 

"Nope. I'd fuck you. All the way." Ralph winked,  BUT THEN began to violently shout again. "You think I'm gay? What an idiot! Good day, sir!"  he winked again and walked away.

 

James watched him go before turning to face his own group, running towards them. "Hey guys, wait up!" he yelled, waving at them. 

 

/////

 

"What was that all about?" Sam asked quietly as they walked behind the other three boys. "I mean, that guy was hot." 

 

"All part of the act, my friend." Ralph replied, grinning wickedly at Sam. 

 

"You're so gay." Sam laughed, shaking his head. 


	4. This Chapter Is Also Gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to apologise for the random capitalization in the last chapter, my friend BCM likes to steal my keyboard when I'm writing. :) 
> 
> Love,  
> ~Josh

That went surprisingly well, James thought as he walked beside Tyler, who was still seething from their previous encounter. James had suggested it best to just leave so that's what they were going to do. On their way out of the large, white and grey building, Tyler turned to James. 

 

"Why did you lag?" he asked defensively.

 

"What do you mean?" Busted. James bit the inside of his cheek. 

 

"I _mean_ , why did you and that Montague boy lag behind?" Tyler rolled his eyes. "You got a thing for him or somethin'?"

 

"No," He lied, "We were just talking. Personally, I think this grudge is stupid. What is it even about?" James explained.

 

"It's just...don't talk to them!" Tyler threw his hands up in frustration, shaking his head. "Get in the car." 

 

James shrugged but climbed into the suddenly cramped car. Why was it so cramped now? It hadn't been like that before...had it?

 

/////

 

"So," Ryan began, turning to Ralph once they were back at the house. "You gay?" he asked the slightly shorter male. 

 

"Gay? What gave you that idea?" Ralph asked, being careful and choosing his words widely. 

 

"Don't play dumb. I saw you checking me out on the ride there and back. You gay?" Ryan persisted. 

 

There was no getting out of it. Ralph may as well come forward and admit that; "Yeah, I'm gay." he said quietly. "Please don't tell anyone?" 

 

Ryan chuckled. "Trust me, I won't. I don't believe in outing people. It's wrong and it feels horrible." 

 

Ralph gave Ryan a confused face and opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't get any words out because Ryan continued to talk. 

 

"Anyway, enough about outing people. You wanna go up to my room? Hang out?" 

 

Something about the way Ryan says "hang out" made Ralph feel a little uneasy, but not in a bad way. He smiled, nodding. "Yeah, let's go."

 

/////

 

Fifteen minutes and a messy room later, Ryan and Ralph were laying in Ryan's bed. Ralph was tucked up under Ryan's arm, grinning like an idiot. 

 

"That was kind of amazing." He muttered. 

 

Ryan nodded, examining the room. "You'd better get outta here before they start getting suspicious. I'll see ya later, hot stuff." 

 

Ralph blushed and got up, pulling on his clothes before leaving the room with a wink. He closed the door softly and grinned wider. "Amazing indeed."

 


	5. Awkward Encounters of the Third Kind

At this point in the day, James would have loved to just be curled up in bed with a good book and some orange juice, but _noooooo_. He just had to come to this brain fuckery of an event. He didn't even know what was happening but he knew it was stupid.

 

So here he was, standing outside some building at five in the morning holding rolls of toilet paper and a carton of eggs. His eyes, still heavy from lack of sleep, wandered before finding what he was looking for. If there had to be any indication of where he was, this was the screamer.

 

A large concrete sign that read ' **Verbrona State University: Home of the Snakes** '

 

So they were egg and tping the school. Yeah, that seems about right. Gotta make a good impression on the campus, he supposed.

 

"Oi, James, toss me that roll." one of his housemates hissed at him. He wasn't sure which one. He wasn't even sure if they had asked him, but he tossed anyway. There wasn't a sound of the soft paper hitting the grass, so he figured whoever it was that had hissed at him had caught the roll.

 

A light flicked on inside the building, near the third level. Jame's shoulders tensed, but his friends - could he really call them friends? - kept going, tossing eggs and toilet paper everywhere.

 

Another light.

Then another.

And another.

 

"Run!" Tyler shouted, tossing whatever else he had in his hands and taking off at a sprint down the sidewalk. 

 

Three more boys followed, then James started running. The sound of sirens was fast approaching and James was pretty sure he'd accidentally stepped on a bird's rotting carcass but they arrived home in no time.

 

He flopped face first into the mattress and, as soon as the boys quieted down, he was fast asleep.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terribly written. Short. Moves fast. Confusing. Blah blah blah, thanks, blah blah blah, love you all, blah blah blah, signs name, blah blah blah.


End file.
